Episode 013: Charlie’s Story
Here are some resources and books Kat and David have found helpful through this journey with Charlie.
Ferfolia Funeral Home - they were amazing and offer a number of events throughout the year for grieving families
Gilmour Academy's Our Lady Chapel - where Charlie's funeral was held
Wind Chimes - Although the history behind the tradition is not clear, wind chimes are ideal memorial gifts for people who have lost family members or pets. Perhaps people are drawn to the present because the tinkling sound, always in the background, can act as a constant reminder of the one who died.
Molly Bears - We lost our angel, Molly Christine at 34 weeks, on May 30th 2010. I had not felt our active girl all day on the 29th. That night I went to the hospital to get checked and make sure Molly was alright. We were told that our precious daughter no longer had a heartbeat. She died from a tight true knot in her cord. Devastated would not even begin to describe how we felt.
I was given a weighted teddy bear from a dear friend from high school. This bear weighed three pounds. In an effort to have a bear that weighed the same as Molly, I bought a shell and a package of rice. In the middle of the produce isle, I carefully weighed rice, fluff and the shell. I am sure people thought I was crazy, but I did not care. I went home and with my children and husband, we created the very first Molly Bear. For the first time in weeks, I was able to sleep holding her. It was then that I knew I had to find a way to help other angel families.
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief - When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should.
Organized into fifty-two short chapters, Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore—bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field—accompanies us along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities—as well as her own experience with loss—Cacciatore opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.
Not just for the bereaved, Bearing the Unbearable will be required reading for grief counselors, therapists and social workers, clergy of all varieties, educators, academics, and medical professionals. Organized into fifty-two accessible and stand-alone chapters, this book is also perfect for being read aloud in support groups.
Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss - When your baby dies, you find yourself in a life you never expected. And even though pregnancy and infant loss are common, they're not common to you. Instead, you feel like a stranger in your own body, surrounded by well-meaning people who often don't know how to support you.
What you need during this time is not a book offering easy answers. You need a safe place to help you navigate what comes next, such as:
· Coping with a postpartum body without a baby in your arms.
· Facing social isolation and grief invalidation.
· Wrestling with faith when you feel let down by God.
· Dealing with the overwhelming process of making everyday decisions.
· Learning to move forward after loss.
· Creating a legacy for your child.
In Unexpecting, bereaved mom Rachel Lewis is the friend you never knew you'd need, walking you through the unique grief of baby loss. When nothing about life after loss makes sense . . . this book will.
Protecting the Gift - In this indispensable resource, de Becker provides keen insights into the behavior and strategies of predators. He offers practical new steps to enhance children's safety at every age level: specific questions parents can ask to screen effectively and evaluate baby-sitters, day-care services, schools, and doctors; a "Test of Twelve" safety skills children need before being alone in public; warning signs to help parents protect children from sexual abuse; and how to keep teenage girls and boys from unsafe situations with peers and adults. De Becker also shatters the myth that rules like Never Talk to Strangers will keep your children safe. By showing what danger really looks like--as opposed to what we might imagine it looks like--de Becker gives parents freedom from many common worries and unwarranted fears.
The Christmas Box - The Christmas Box Angel Statue was introduced to the world in the book The Christmas Box, a worldwide bestseller and hit television movie by author Richard Paul Evans. In the book, a woman mourns the loss of her child at the base of an angel monument.
Christmas Box Angel Statues and Locations - Though the story is mostly fiction, the angel monument once existed but is speculated to have been destroyed. The new angel statue was commissioned by Richard Paul Evans, in response to reports that grieving parents were seeking out the angel as a place to grieve and heal. The monument was dedicated on December 6, 1994-corresponding with the date of the child’s death in The Christmas Box. (Coincidentally, Dec. 6th is celebrated in many parts of the world as Children’s Day). In addition to the angel in the Salt Lake City cemetery, there are Christmas Box Angels in more than 120 other areas erected by great people just like you (including statues in Canada and Japan!). Furthermore, there are several in the works, and at least a dozen of these have dedication dates. To retrieve the complete list and get directions to the angel statue sites, review their locations.
Cleveland Clinic Child Life Services - Child Life Specialists are health professionals who assist children and adolescents and their families as they prepare for and cope with pediatric medical and emotional experiences such as surgery, hospitalization, tests and procedures. We’ve discovered that when children understand what is happening to them, they cope more effectively and experience less psychological trauma and anxiety. Our Child Life Specialists are trained in child development, child life, education and psychology.
Child Life Specialists assist pediatric patients and families at Cleveland Clinic’s Main Campus, Fairview Hospital and Hillcrest Hospital.